"You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on."- Oprah Winfrey

XIN HUI; 歆惠
6 August 1990.
Into lomography and film photography.
Sin City.
Aint the pretty little nice girl next door.
But a monster knocking at your doorstep.

PS: Click "Been there, done that" to view my archives

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

Fumble



All photographs are there to remind us of what we forget.

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    “Been there, done that.”
    September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011

    Forever&Always ♥♥♥
    Thursday, October 6, 2011 || 6:13 PM



    Been 6 months since you left this world.
    How are you doing?
    Are you leading a great life in the other world?
    I miss you very much still. I really do.
    I still cry almost every single night before I sleep.
    I can't help it.

    I keep thinking back of those days
    when you were hospitalized,
    when you were so weak,
    when you were lying on your bed struggling to keep your eyes opened throughout the entire birthday song we sang for you,
    when you cried after you found out your survival rate was so short, when you held my hands so tightly,
    when you said "when I recover, we will go on a cruise together",
    when you would text me to encourage me and give me moral support for my exams.



    I just miss EVERYTHING about you :'(
    I'm still very heart broken; very very.
    So many things I remembered.

    & there is this one memory that hit me the most.
    I opened the house door and there you were, standing there with sweat on your forehead and smiling at me.
    When I looked down, i saw grocery bags and inside them was 2L of milk, bread and other grocery items.
    I was angry with you for going out and getting all these for it was so heavy and during that period of time, you were getting weaker too.
    I don't wish for anything to happen to you.
    On the other hand, I realized how much you just want to feel normal, healthy and feel like your old self.
    You showed me determination :)

    I was always praying that despite the odd, you'll recover.
    I don't want you to leave but I know living on with that killer disease was painful and you had suffered enough.
    Sometime things just happen, and usually, in a way we don't want it to.
    We can blame no one.

    You know, when God decided to take you away, it didn't strike to me immediately.
    Till a few days later, it daunt on me that you were no longer here with me and that's when I cried and cried and cried.
    It was so heartbreaking.

    I lost someone who doted me the most, someone who took care of me for 20yrs of my life and yet I don't have the fucking chance to take care of you.

    I've been questioning why, why must it be you?
    & i realized, throughout your entire battle with the disease, I've never heard you saying: why must it be me?
    You were so strong.
    And I want to be like you Dad.

    My role model, my best friend, my best Dad.
    I miss you and I love you; forever and always.

    Xoxo