"You are responsible for your life. You can't keep blaming somebody else for your dysfunction. Life is really about moving on."- Oprah Winfrey

XIN HUI; 歆惠
6 August 1990.
Into lomography and film photography.
Sin City.
Aint the pretty little nice girl next door.
But a monster knocking at your doorstep.

PS: Click "Been there, done that" to view my archives

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
— Marilyn Monroe

Fumble



All photographs are there to remind us of what we forget.

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    “Been there, done that.”
    September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011

    Forever&Always ♥♥♥
    Thursday, October 6, 2011 || 6:13 PM



    Been 6 months since you left this world.
    How are you doing?
    Are you leading a great life in the other world?
    I miss you very much still. I really do.
    I still cry almost every single night before I sleep.
    I can't help it.

    I keep thinking back of those days
    when you were hospitalized,
    when you were so weak,
    when you were lying on your bed struggling to keep your eyes opened throughout the entire birthday song we sang for you,
    when you cried after you found out your survival rate was so short, when you held my hands so tightly,
    when you said "when I recover, we will go on a cruise together",
    when you would text me to encourage me and give me moral support for my exams.



    I just miss EVERYTHING about you :'(
    I'm still very heart broken; very very.
    So many things I remembered.

    & there is this one memory that hit me the most.
    I opened the house door and there you were, standing there with sweat on your forehead and smiling at me.
    When I looked down, i saw grocery bags and inside them was 2L of milk, bread and other grocery items.
    I was angry with you for going out and getting all these for it was so heavy and during that period of time, you were getting weaker too.
    I don't wish for anything to happen to you.
    On the other hand, I realized how much you just want to feel normal, healthy and feel like your old self.
    You showed me determination :)

    I was always praying that despite the odd, you'll recover.
    I don't want you to leave but I know living on with that killer disease was painful and you had suffered enough.
    Sometime things just happen, and usually, in a way we don't want it to.
    We can blame no one.

    You know, when God decided to take you away, it didn't strike to me immediately.
    Till a few days later, it daunt on me that you were no longer here with me and that's when I cried and cried and cried.
    It was so heartbreaking.

    I lost someone who doted me the most, someone who took care of me for 20yrs of my life and yet I don't have the fucking chance to take care of you.

    I've been questioning why, why must it be you?
    & i realized, throughout your entire battle with the disease, I've never heard you saying: why must it be me?
    You were so strong.
    And I want to be like you Dad.

    My role model, my best friend, my best Dad.
    I miss you and I love you; forever and always.

    Xoxo

    106 Things to Do Before You Die
    Monday, September 12, 2011 || 2:16 AM

    Love this kind of article! :) Excittttting.
    Highlighted in Red would be those things I would WANT to do in my life!:)
    Highlighted in Green would be those things that I've done! :)
    Highlighted in Blue would be those I have very little interest/will not even attempt to do at all.

    HERE GOESSSSSS.

    1 Bungee Jumping

    2 Go Skydiving

    3 Shark Cage Diving

    4 Jump Off a High Cliff Into The Ocean

    5 Scuba Diving

    6 Water Skiing

    7 Windsurfing

    8 Surfing

    9 Whitewater Rafting

    10 Go On a Safari

    11 Take a Ride In a Hot Air Balloon

    12 Quad Biking In The Dunes

    13 Ride a Camel In The Dessert

    14 Ride a Motorcycle
    Glad that I've got my 2B license more than a year for now :)

    15 Handbrake Turn a Car While Traveling Over 30 mph (50km/h)
    Sound exciting enough! If only Ive got a car now!!

    16 Drive a Lamborghini or Ferrari

    17 Get In a Physical Fight

    18 Go Camping

    19 Spend a Night Sleeping Under The Stars

    20 Go On Holiday With Your Best Friend

    21 Take a Cross-Country Road Trip With Your Friends

    22 Rent a Motorcycle And Tour Through Europe In The Summer

    23 Throw a Snowball At Someone
    You haven’t lived until you’ve hit someone ‘smack’ in the face with a snowball. If you live in a country without snow, you can always resort to scraping it off the inside of your freezer until you have enough to make a snowball with.

    24 Go Snowboarding or Skiing

    25 Build Your Own Igloo

    26 Learn To Do A Standing Somersault
    Find no interest in doing so.

    27 Go To a Nightclub On Your Own And Make Some New Friends

    28 Throw A HUGE Party For All Your Friends

    29 Witness A Final Match Of A World Cup Event, Live

    Must see destinations
    30 Visit the Eiffel Tower

    31 The Pyramids of Egypt

    32 The Statue of Liberty

    33 The Stone Henge
    CAN I GO THERE NOW!!!?

    34 The Grand Canyon

    35 The Colosseum in Rome
    Can I go honeymoon in Rome? A die die must go country for me!

    36 The Great Wall of China

    37Witness the Northern Lights in Alaska
    Beautiful beautiful beautiful
    Beauty of nature.

    38 Las Vegas

    39 Yellowstone National Park in Canada

    40 Have Lunch in Monaco
    Monaco is a tiny little country on the coast next to France, and it’s full of the wealthiest people in the world. Home of the famous Grand Prix races, you have to do yourself a favor and have lunch in Monaco (or stay for a few days if you can afford it). The cars will blow your mind, the yachts will leave you speechless and the whole atmosphere is completely different to anything you’ve seen before.

    41 Live In A Foreign Country For At Least 3 Months
    (Live in a foreign country for at least 3 months. Experience a different culture, learn a different language, meet more people and see what it’s really like to live in another part of the world. Holidays for a week or two are nice, but you don’t really get a true account of what the life is like in that country until you actually make it your home for at least 3 months.)
    I always want to spend a great long time in a country! :) In order to fully experience everything there!

    42 Live On An Island For At Least a Month

    43 Build a Giant Sandcastle

    44 Experience the Rio Carnival

    45 Hike The Inca trail in Peru

    46 See the Angel Falls in Venezuela
    Another nature beauty!

    Lucky Money
    47 Play a Game of Poke

    48 Play a Game Of Blackjack/21

    49 Put $100 On “Red” With Roulette

    50 Win $1000 In The Lottery Or Some Other Competition

    51 Make $1,000,000
    Hmm. I mean come on, everybody wants to make $1Mil right!
    But ya, I've never thought of making that much money anyway.

    52 Get Your Fortune Told
    I prefer to go with the flow rather than to have someone to tell you your future etc.

    Naughty before you die
    53 Kiss A Total Stranger
    Femal also can right? ahah!

    54 Go On a Blind Date

    55 Go Skinny-Dipping In The Ocean

    56 Go To A Strip-Club

    57 Sleep With Someone 10 Years Older Than You

    58 Sleep With Someone 10 Years Younger Than You

    59 Sleep With A Model Or Someone Famous

    60 Menage a Trois

    61 Join The Mile-High Club
    In case you don’t know what that means, do it on an airplane. Just don’t get caught.

    62 Make Love On A Beach

    63 Get Married

    64 Have Your Own Family

    65 Get A Professional Photo Portfolio

    66 Have Your Heart Broken

    67 Say “I Love You”

    Make a difference before you die
    68 Help Someone Without Wanting Anything In Return

    69 Be A Teacher

    70 Discover Your Life’s Purpose

    71 Get Your Life In Shape

    72 Make A Difference To The World

    Self Growth
    73 Spend A Week In A Meditation Retreat

    74 Watch The Sun Rise

    75 Watch The Sun Set

    76 Plant A Tree

    77 Own a Pet
    A dog would be a great companion!

    78 Learn a Foreign Language

    79 Learn To Play An Instrument

    80 Learn Your Favorite Song

    81 Play An Elaborate Practical Joke On Someone (Or The World)

    82 Learn To Dance

    83 Make Money From Your Own Entrepreneurial Project/Business
    *Fingers crossed*
    Having some thoughts of doing so. :)

    84 Build Your Own Website
    Does this blog counts? hehe.

    85 Build A Passive Income Business Online

    86 Build An Audience Of Thousands Of People
    Blogggggg?

    87 Make Your Own Movie
    Always wanted to do up a short film of my travel destinations!!
    Shall do it on my next trip!

    88 Write Your Own Book

    Cuisine before you die
    89 Eat Something That’s Alive (Like An Insect)
    A small tiny part of a bug, does that count?

    90 Eat Something Raw (Off A Tree Or Out The Ground)
    The best would be to grow your own vegetables and eat what you’ve managed to grow. Otherwise, go out and pick something off a tree or out the ground, and eat it.

    91 Fast For At Least 2 Days
    I need/must eat every single day!! I can't make do with this!

    92 Catch A Fish

    Things to do before you die
    93 Chop Down A Tree With An Axe

    94 Climb A High Mountain
    Would love to see the awesome view from the mountain top!

    95 Build Something That Will Outlast You
    I love the mosaic art I done for my CDS during my Poly year! :)

    96 Attend A Concert Or Music Festival

    97 Smoke A Joint

    98 Sell Everything You Own And Travel

    99 Send A Message In A Bottle

    100 Experience Weightlessness

    101 Dance In The Pouring Rain

    102 Take A Vow Of Silence For A Day
    I'm so talketive! HOW TO KEEP QUIET :(
    (Monks do it for decades but that’s a bit extreme. Take a vow of silence for just one day, and see how different the world is when you’re unable to speak. You’ll learn to listen and you’ll likely see the world in a different light afterwards.)

    103Read The Alchemist by Paulho Coelho

    104 Do Something Stupid
    Everyday!

    105 Let Go Of Your Past
    We’ve all done something stupid, had bad experiences and things that we wish would never have happened. Learn to let go of your past, because what’s done is done and it will never change. Don’t let your past weigh you down, don’t carry it around and let it diminish your capacity to be happy and live your present and future life to the fullest. Take a deep breath and just let go of everything in your past. You live now, every new day is a new chance for a better life. Make the most of it.

    106 Forgive Someone
    You may have your differences with someone, and you may downright hate someone for what they did to you. At the end of the day, forgiveness is much more powerful than hate and forgiveness will bring a sense of relief and happiness for both of you. When you’re ready, forgive someone who has done something bad to you.

    Got the article here!

    Earl Grey Cupcakes with Lemon Icing
    Wednesday, August 31, 2011 || 9:12 PM

    Hello people!:D
    So I digged out a nice recipe! Something I like.
    Yes, Earl Grey! :) Love this tea ever since I tasted it for the first time.
    Decided to baked these lovely cupcakes and they tasted awesome.
    My first attempt in baking them, and they are really nice!



    AM GOING TO SHARE THE RECIPE WITH Y'ALL!
    *Spread the love*
    (As usual, I made a twist to the original recipe!)



    Got this from M&S. They are really fragrant.


    Earl Grey Cupcakes with Lemon Icing

    Makes about 12-14 regular cupcakes

    Ingredients:
    - 125 ml of milk (room temperature)
    - 4 Earl Grey teabags
    - 110g unsalter butter     (room temperature)
    - 180g caster sugar
    - 2 large eggs
    - 125g self-raising flour (sifted)
    - 120g plain flour    (sifted)

    Lemon Icing
    -     1/2 egg white from 1 egg
    - lemon juice
    - icing sugar
    - Yellow food colouring
    ( I don't have specific measurements here, just agar agar.)

    Decorations
    - Hundreds and Thousands

    Instructions
    1. Preheat the oven to 180oC and place appropriate size cupcake cases on a 12-hole muffin tray.



    2. Heat the milk in a small saucepan over medium heat until it just beings to boil. Remove from the heat and add 3 Earl Grey teabags. (stir it to ensure that the Earl Grey is infused into the milk) Cover with clingfilm and leave to infuse for another 30mins, then discard the teabags.
    (Don't walk away from it when you are heating up the milk. It might just boil and a lot of bubbles will form!)



    3. In a large mixing bowl mix the butter and sugar until the mixture is pale and smooth (3 - 5 mins with electric hand mixture. Longer if you are stirring it manually.)



    4. Add in the eggs, one at a time mixing for a few mins after each addition.



    5. Combine the 2 flours in a separate bowl. Tear open 1 Earl Grey teabag and add in the tea into bowl together with the flour.



    6. Slowly add in the flour to the creamed mixture (step 4) and beat well. Pour in a little Earl Grey infused milk and beat again. Repeat these steps untill all the flour and milk have been added and mixed well.



    7. Carefully spoon the mixture into the cupcakes cases, filling them to about 2/3 full. It will be easier to use an ice cream scooper :)







    8. Bake in the oven for about 20-25 mins until slightly raised and golden brown. To check if they are cooked, inset a toothpich in the centre of one of the cupcakes - it should come out clean. If not, place it in the oven for a couple of mins more.

    9. Remove from the oven and leave it on a wire rack to cool.







    (P/S: I'm still a noob in baking cupcakes, my cupcakes always turned out ugly! I guess it was probably I over-whisked the batter.) They shouldn't look like that! Like some volcano eruptions happened to them.

    For the lemon icing
    1. Pour the egg white into a bowl and whisk it till it become slightly milky and add in icing sugar till it become slightly creamy.

    2. Add in the lemon juice little by little (taste it as you whisk it to get the taste that you like.)

    3. Add in more caster sugar to get a thick consistency. You don't want it to be runny, else when you start piping it, your icing will start flowing in all direction.



    4. Add in a few drops of yellow food colouring and whisk it till you get the creamy yellow colour that you desire.

    5. Start piping the lemon icing when your cupcakes are completely     cool and sprinkle with a little hundreds and thousands and viola, your lovely aromatic cupcakes are done!






    I cut away the top part of my cupcakes so it'll be easier for my to pipe! :)
    Have some left over lemon icing, thus I spreaded them on the part of the cupcake I cut off :p